


Pale Winters

by Oolong



Category: Fire Emblem: Kakusei | Fire Emblem: Awakening
Genre: Abuse, Abusive Relationships, Angst, Basically my story of Lon'qu and Ke'ri, Blood, Death, Gen, Gore, Headcanon, It's not shippy it's angsty, Major character death - Freeform, Potatoes, Poverty, Rape, Suicide, Trigger Warnings, Violence, my beautiful samurai boy, random flashbacks?
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-02-12
Updated: 2017-02-12
Packaged: 2018-09-23 19:23:35
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,311
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9672650
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Oolong/pseuds/Oolong
Summary: An in-depth headcanon work about Lon'qu's childhood, living homeless in Chon'sin, featuring his relationship with his late best friend, Ke'ri.





	

**Author's Note:**

> So basically, this is my opinion of what actually happened to Lon'qu to give him such a phobia of women. We know only very generally and broadly about his past with Ke'ri, so I've brought that to specifics. I did a bit of research too, and figured that to have such specific and severe gynophobia with physical symptoms and all, something REALLY fucked up and traumatic had to happen to Lon'qu, so... here you have it. 
> 
> Please note: I definitely use this headcanon backstory for Lon'qu in EVERYTHING I've ever written about him. I wrote this story so long ago, that I kind of confuse it as being canon in my mind, (whoops). So, if I've posted anything else about Lon'qu in some way, I have to humbly request that you read this first-- things will probably make more sense!
> 
> Also, yes, rape is a theme in this, but it's not described in any detail. Violence, however, is depicted vividly. Thanks for the read!

_Shuck. Shuck. Shuck._  
  
The knife ran over the potato, his thumb caressing the dull side of the blade. His fingers wrapped firmly around the handle, causing the knife to look even more greatly dwarfed in his long hands.  
  
_Shhhruck._  
  
He nicked the top of the potato, and began to shave the skin off in a curved line, moving in a circular motion, by twirling the potato in his hands slowly with continual motion from the knife. The skin came off in one continuous bouncing spiral.  
  
His fixed dark eyes appeared as though they were painstakingly focused on the potato in his hands. But in reality, he wasn't concentrated much at all on his task; in fact, he was doing it completely mindlessly. Even now when he was trying to perform the trick of his, in which he peeled the potato in one long curled spiral, he didn't even think slightly about what he was doing. And even before he had mastered such a talent, the mental energy it took was little to none. He was looking past his hands, holding the vegetable, and far off into his own thoughts. His upper back was bent over slightly, which tended to cause him aching later. His elbows rested on his thighs, parted, as to allow the potato skins to fall into the wooden pail below.  
  
Even only as a teenager, Lon'qu was too lanky and towering to fit correctly in most chairs. But he wasn't as intimidating as his adult self would be; he was bone-thin skinny, and always starving, with his hair long and shaggy, untamed. His dark eyes were exhausted-- not from being tired, but from being so hungry for such a long time, as usual. As for clothing, he wore something that looked barely even like rags. Yet, despite his uncontrollable look of poverty, Lon'qu was an extremely clean boy. There was no access to bathing for most people, and there were only so many hours in the day as well; when you were starving, you had to devote all your hours to coming across your family's means of survival. But still, however far he had to walk to do so, Lon'qu always found some way to bathe regularly. Others in the slums didn't bath nearly as much- or, unfortunately, never at all. Lon'qu made it a point to stay cleanly. Additionally, he had the ability to exist and function well on little sleep. Normally, his metabolism would require a lot of sleep, what with his size and the amount of food that he should be consuming. But alas, with no food to consume...  
  
Lon'qu was known well around the slums, (as everyone knew each other's face in the dank streets where everyone was just trying to survive) and people recognized him in the wealthier part of town too; Lon'qu was among the helpful young boys who begged for chores to do in the exchange of food in better parts of town. Most scoffed at the poor children who looked like dilapidated, skinny, zombies, but Lon'qu was less likely to be declined, his somewhat hygienic appearance making him seem just a little bit out of place among the slew of other beggars. He performed odd jobs for food scraps or a few coins, which he then took home to his beloved mother, who was quite frail and weak for her young age. She was often sick, and couldn't be out of bed for too long, it seemed. She felt incredibly guilty, thinking she had done a disservice to her son by not being able to sustain him well, and now felt like she just burdened him, as a matter of fact. Additionally, she always regretted that he had no father, and often blamed herself for it, though his death was entirely the work of fate... She argued with herself over it.  _Perhaps he's better off growing up without a man like that to look up to..._   _But would having a father like him be better than having no father, though?_  
  
His father had died young in a drunken brawl, while his wife was merely weeks pregnant with Lon'qu. And for 13 years, the woman raised him lovingly, always, sacrificing everything she had just to feed him, while she was physically able. Gratefully, when her health began to slip, Lon'qu in return did anything he could to feed _her_. The mother and son existed off of each other for as long as they could in a little shack in the slum of Chon'sin. Their condition was deplorable, but it was constant at least, for a very long time too.  
  
But food was scarce, of course, and as Lon'qu grew incredibly tall merely as a 12 or 13 year old, his mother knew he would be needing a lot more of it to feed him now, let alone have him survive in a few years when his body really required proteins in high amount. The two would go days without eating, both resembling skeletons. Lon'qu practically operated on his own at this point in his life, being old enough and strong enough to really work, and brought home more food or coins than his mother ever could.  
  
Knowing that, with their food situation, Lon'qu would die unless she died first, his mother slowly let starvation take her from him. Slipping away one night on the straw pile of a bed that she shared with her beloved son, she knew she had fulfilled her task, her dying wish: she was keeping Lon'qu alive. She prayed that that friend of his, that little girl Ke'ri, would bring him a kind of love to ease the pain of her departure. Feeling Lon'qu's sleeping body next to her, the lovely warmth of her own flesh and blood, she closed her eyes after gazing over his sleeping face in the darkness. _Ke'ri will take care of him..._ Starvation took her that night, so perfectly after these finalized thoughts of death. Perhaps she had willed herself to go... Lon'qu was left to wake up to the lifeless body of his mother.

Now he was on his own. He lived in that shack alone for a little bit, but was lonely and lost without his mother, and most nights could seldom find sleep anyway. Soon, word had gotten out that the woman who lived there had passed away, and someone came by to repossess the house. Lon'qu was only 13, so they simply shooed him away. From then on, he took to the streets and lived without shelter from the cold Chon'sin nights. He became very familiar with the surrounding city, he knew where every alley led... The grey cobblestone envied the dullness of the dreary winter sky, and seemed monotonous to outsiders, but to him, it was a puzzling maze that he had mastered inside and out. He slept in alleys, behind shops, or sometimes in stables with the pigs and horses. Occasionally, however, he could seek some sort of refuge on Ke'ri's front porch...  
  
Ke'ri was a little orange-haired girl that lived only two houses down from Lon'qu's old repossessed abode in Chon'sin. Ke'ri wasn't quite nearly as poor as Lon'qu was, but she lived in a similar state to him. Her family was better off, but still scraping by for food in the cold winter. The only difference was that, no one in her family had died of starvation, not yet.  
  
Now, Ke'ri was the only one Lon'qu had left in his life, but if he had to pick anyone, it would be her, a million times over. Her ginger hair was so catching, despite how unhealthy and malnourished she was, and somehow, those crystal blue eyes looked up to the heavens in ways Lon'qu felt he never could. She gave him something he never had before: hope. She was someone to just... hold him. And in return for giving him her unconditional love, he would do anything for her (not that she would ever ask him to lift a finger). He'd bend over backwards for her; he'd sacrifice his life for her if he had to, without thinking twice. He went with her anywhere she needed to go. When he wasn't scrounging for food and coins or working, he was helping her with anything she ever needed to do, be it cleaning, or working, or cooking, or laundry, or traveling. It didn't matter how hungry he was; he would always take the time to escort her where she needed to go.  
  
Lon'qu's only irrevocable possession was a dull sword that he had found abandoned in a ditch, seen as useless. But to him, it was his greatest treasure, besides Ke'ri. It felt wrong for a human being to be on the same list as a piece of rusty scrap metal, but these were the only two things he really even had to list in the first place. He tried to practice his swordplay, to defend himself and Ke'ri, but he had no one to teach him, and was far too weak and malnourished to do damage to a foe anyway. He dreamed about being taught by masters... but as teenager, his priority was just to survive the pale winters of Chon'sin.  
  
His relationship with Ke'ri was just that of friendship, in the time of their youth, but she always brought him physical comfort in a way that probably _appeared_ more than platonic. She'd often hold onto his elbow or run her hands through his hair-- things like that. Ke'ri simply adored him, and she'd never try to deny it, but they were friends through and through.

Ke'ri's family was always leery of _anyone_ , so they, despite Ke'ri's persistent requests, never allowed Lon'qu to stay in their house, just to sleep. (Even though he was homeless) Sometimes, they allowed him to sleep on the overhang in front of the shabby, dilapidated shack outside, but forbade Ke'ri from bringing him any extra hay to sleep on unless it was brutally snowing. Usually though, when it was summer or autumn, Lon'qu would just lay out under the stars anyway...

/////

  
That warmth of the summer that Cho'sin just barely ever saw was creeping up over the horizon. The day was positively lukewarm. And when the sun had set, the night didn't even bring a chill. No, the warm summer air remained, for once, lingering like the scent of rain after a storm.

Lon'qu lay in the grass, a few fathoms from Ke'ri's house. And all was silent. On his back, his chest rose and fell, taking huge, heavy breaths.

He was growing surprisingly strong, considering his condition. He was only 15 at this point, but if he had a little more weight to him, he could easily look about 17 or 18. His body was begging for food more violently each day, as he was beginning to match the heights of grown men as well as the rumbling voices, too.

He was watching the stars, but had now closed his eyes, voluntarily. He always stayed up late habitually, relaxing under a quiet night, as if recharging by the glow of the moon. Sometimes, he felt that if he just sacrificed his body to the earth, the grass would perhaps swallow him up whole, and he'd be quite fine with it. But then there were footsteps, and he became alert again. The sound against the grass was a good distance away, but he heard it immediately, having developed keen senses for danger once he had begun living on his own. You had to be attentive when you slept right out in the open. His hand grasped the blade at his side faster than a strike of lightning, and he sat up to stare behind him at the figure approaching.  
  
A dingy white linen dress was swishing. The bottom edge was ripped. The dress was to her knees now. She had outgrown this garment roughly three years ago, surely. Her bust had no room, and put a light strain on the fabric. Of course, she too was just flesh and bones, so the idea of her growing out of her straight figure over the years was surprising. She was 15 as well, but was a lot better fed now. Their family prospered more than in years past, now that her older brothers had moved away, so she received more of a share of food now. Ke'iri used to sneak a scrap of food from dinner outside to Lon'qu when she occasionally could, but once her father found out and furiously beat her for it, Lon'qu, with rage in his dark eyes, squeezed her wrist tight and forbade her from ever doing that again, raising his voice like she'd never seen before.  
  
He distinctly remembered when they had fought because she had tried to bring him part of her meal once again in the bitter winter, much time having passed now from last time. She begged and pleaded for him to eat the bread rind but he stubbornly refuted this.  
  
"Ke'ri." He hissed at her in the cold night. "I refuse. You can throw it in the river before I eat the fucking bread. Get inside, and stay there, _now_." He ordered coldly. But he knew it was futile...  
  
"No!" She cried. "You'll eat this right now or so help me-"  
  
"Keep your voice down-"  
  
"You haven't eaten a crumb in _seven days_! I can't keep eating in there, warm and cozy, while you're out here starving in the snow! I'll shove it down your damn throat if I have to you- you fucking-" Tears welled in her river-like blue eyes, a sight he'd never seen before. A dry sob caught violently in her throat and her arms seized Lon'qu's middle, burying her face into his chest roughly, startling him. "You're gonna die out here because of me-"  
  
He wanted to raise his voice at her for her horrible last statement (he really only knew how to express emotions with anger), but he simply couldn't speak. He was completely stunned, petrified. He'd never seen her cry in all the years he'd known her, and one time quickly became one time too many. Maybe he really was going to die and he just hadn't noticed... she was very upset, it seemed. "No... shh..." He closed his eyes and held his arms tightly around her, her chest shuddering mildly. "I- I, okay... I'll eat the bread..." He admitted defeat softly, a hint of a grumble in his voice.  
  
"You're all I have..." She whispered so faintly he barely heard it.  
  
He silently squeezed her tight, stroking her orangey hair affectionately. He felt the same.

_/////_

  
Ke'ri approached Lon'qu on another summer night. She saw him laying in the grass, and plopped down to join him. She had a piece of bread in her hand. Lon'qu sat up and she settled next to him silently. Both had grown more, filling out the looks of teenagers.  
  
She presented the food to him, to which he responded with a laborious sigh. "I can't accept it..."  
  
"Then try harder." She quickly shot back, urging it towards him again.  
  
He grumbled as he eventually took it from her hands and chewed on it. His stomach roared for more after he swallowed the bread. "...thanks..." He murmured.  
  
He lay back down flat against the grass, and she copied him, curling up next to his side. His feet surpassed hers by nearly a foot.  
  
"Lon'qu."  
  
"Hm?"  
  
"I had an idea."  
  
He didn't like the sound of that.  
  
"Let's you and me just run away and live off the land." She stated her case with a nod.  
  
A single light chuckle shook his chest, hardly audible. "What?"  
  
"Let's just live out in the woods, and hunt and gather by ourselves, that way the food we eat is shared between-"  
  
His smile faded. "No... you're as well-fed as you've ever been in your life right now. You're not going to leave your family where you have a house to live in to... to wander the forest with me."  
  
"I want to help you. I want you to eat as much as me." She insisted firmly.  
  
"If you run away, I'll bring you home." He retorted. He sat up now.  
  
"You know what? You shouldn't be ordering me around so much..." She told him softly, rising up to meet him, stretching her legs out over the prickly grass. "Some days, you sound just like my father."  
  
Ouch. There was no one in the world that Lon'qu hate more than Ke'ri's father... His disposition changed radically once again. "I'm... sorry. I never meant to boss you around..."  
  
She quickly forgave him, as she always did, whenever he was too pushy or assuming about what was good for her. "It's okay. It's because you care. I'm tougher than I look, so... just think about it is all. We could just be... together." He started to lay back down, stretching his arms behind his head, but she patted her lap, offering him to lay his head on her thighs instead. Lon'qu graciously accepted her offer, and settled down on her legs, looking up at her who leaned over him from her sitting position.  
  
"I... I know you're strong. I just want what's best for you." Lon'qu shrugged, looking up at her, framed by a veil of stars. Her ginger hair occasionally fell down far enough to tickle his face. Her fingers absentmindedly began to run through his thick black hair and he closed his eyes.  
  
"You're what's best for me, Lon'qu. Please believe that." She murmured, her hand sliding down to his cheek, rubbing circles calmly, feeling peach fuzz on his face.  
  
He wasn't sure why he said it then, and he definitely didn't will himself to do so, but, alas, he heard the words slip out of his mouth in a murmur: "I love you." Upon registering that he had told her such a thing, his cheeks began to darken. Her lack of response eventually intrigued him, so he opened one eye slightly. She was grinning as she looked down at him, pink also filling her face. He inhaled slowly, and exhaled even slower, his eyes drooping shut again in his mild fluster.  
  
She quickly curled down close to him, before he could even open his peacefully closed eyes, and with a hand cupping his cheek, she pressed her lips upside-down against his.   
  
His breath hitched as he felt her warm lips suddenly lock with his out of nowhere. His eyes remained closed in peace as he simply went with it, graciously accepting her sudden embrace. The sparks that had shot through him soon turned into boiling heat everywhere. She gave off the most intoxicating aroma around her mouth, and he breathed it in, savoring those few moments of bliss before she retreated.  
  
He was left with the lukewarm night air again, a harsh, freezing contrast to the intense heat of her lips, and his blazing cheeks. She looked up at the sky, face burning. He folded his arms casually over his forehead, and closed his eyes, catching the breath he never knew he had lost. Her hand still lingered on his face.

/////

  
_Shuck. Shuck. Shuck._  
  
He had become immensely skilled at peeling potatoes, and soon it became quite a considerable talent of his. He wished his swordplay was as sharp as his potato peeling, but alas, this was something he did all day, and the other was something he never had the chance to use or let alone even practice.  
  
_Shuck. Shuck._  
  
And that was the last one, finally. Lon'qu had a deal with a fancy inn keeper up through the city, all the way out of the slums, where he would peel potatoes for him, if he could keep the peeled skins. Lon'qu couldn't understand why anyone would waste time taking the skin off the potatoes, as the more skin, the more food there was, but he never questioned it once. He happily peeled all the potatoes, catching the slimy skins into a pail, and, well... ate them. He walked all the way to the inn, in the opposite part of the city, peeled potatoes free of charge, and cleaned up for free. While this was a good deal for any chef, the inn keeper wasn't too keen on having a scruffy homeless boy in his kitchen, and still never treated him very kindly. Once he was done with the potato peeling, he preferred to have Lon'qu leave as soon as he was rid of the disgusting, earthy scraps, and not have inn-goers see him.  
  
Lon'qu didn't care one bit.  
  
He made his way back to the general vicinity which he called home, beginning the long walk now again, thinking about what Ke'ri said that one time long ago, about running away and living off the land. Internally, he just shook his head, knowing about all the thieves and brawlers that hid in the alleys. He saw them first hand, actually. They never bothered him, because he was clearly so impoverished with nothing to offer. Part of him was always tempted to join them; he wanted to be strong and well-fed. He wanted to feel powerful, just for once. But he knew he wasn't raised such a way as to steal... it's not what his mother would want for him. From there, it lost all appeal. Regardless, Lon'qu knew that Ke'ri had no idea how dangerous it really was out there. Running away was far easier said than done.  
  
Of course, inspired by the threat of muggers, Lon'qu had been practicing his swordplay more often now. While he had a knack for it naturally, he wasn't trained at all. If someone did actually ever try to pick a fight with him, he'd be a goner. Good thing he owned nothing to be stolen. He wondered what went through Ke'ri's mind, on the other hand. She was a dreamer, for sure. She had plenty that could be stolen from her: her food, her house, and unfortunately, her body. Lon'qu was very possessive over her, because he knew of the horrors that would eagerly meet her out in the world... 

 

/////

  
_Shuck. Shuck. Shuck._  
  
He walked all the way back to the slums. Lon'qu had managed to eat enough over the last few years to grow into his tall frame, and he no longer was skinny and malnourished. He was lean and muscular, and towered heads over other men. He looked less scruffy, and with better clothing, he could possibly pass for someone other than a street rat. He was clean and hygienic, and lean and powerful.  
  
"Where is she?" Lon'qu ducked his head under the doorway of the shack that Ke'ri's family resided in. He wasn't allowed passed the doorway, however, and really never saw the inside of the house.  
  
Ke'ri's father, a bitter man, stepped closer to him, as if to keep Lon'qu from entering their home even more, trying to exert dominance. Lon'qu was far taller than the stubby old man, however, and was unphased. "You tell me." He spat. He smelled of liquor.  _Great_. 

Ke'ri's father was a maniac-- he hated Lon'qu's guts because he knew Lon'qu probably took much better care of his daughter than he did. As a result, he wouldn't hesitate to punish Ke'ri for spending too much time with him. Most times, he would scream at her, insinuating that she was promiscuous with Lon'qu, and warning her younger siblings not to grow up to be a slut like their older sister. Everyone knew that she spent all day with him most of the time, where he did her chores with her, or guided her safely into the market, but her father pretended like he didn't exist, other than to try and fuck her, as he often put it. If Ke'ri somehow brought him up, or said his name, he'd beat her, even if he hadn't been drinking.  
  
"I was working all day," Lon'qu grumbled. "I've been in the northern city, and I just came back. I'm just looking for her." He raised his chin slightly. The wife watched him in the doorway from the kitchen, silently. She was more often the victim of abuse in this house. She stayed quiet and never defied him, though, so he rarely had reason to physically hurt her. Of course, Lon'qu could often hear the man screaming at her from outside. _"Aida, goddammit, where the fuck is dinner?!"_

" _Looking_ for her? I know what you want." He sneered. "If you had money, I'd make you pay me to fuck her. 'Till then you ought to get lost."

Lon'qu grit his teeth and closed his eyes, trying to breathe deep and keep his temper down. "You disgust me." He forced through his teeth.  
  
"Funny, I've been saying the same about you for years... She's doing the linens." He finally revealed, crossing his arms.  
  
"So late? She's been out awhile then... dangerous..." The sun had long been down now. Lon'qu began to turn to leave, but her father caught his shoulder roughly, fingers digging into him. Lon'qu stopped, and gave a disinterested look down at the man.  
  
"Why weren't you with her, then?" He asked bitterly. "Isn't she your property nowadays?"  
  
Lon'qu didn't have time for this. "I thought you detested me being with your daughter. Now it's my duty to protect her? Good thing I never listened in the past." He growled.  
  
"Why'd you listen now, then? It's dark out there-"  
  
"Why did you send her out?!" He snapped. "It's dangerous out there and you sent her to wash clothes out on the river two miles away in the dark, _alone_?"  
  
"Mind your tongue, you homeless bastard, I let you sleep on _my_ front porch-"  
  
"Yeah, thanks a lot-- I'm going to get her, before she falls into danger." He said, his voice low, ignoring his insult. "You shouldn't have sent her out. Think of the consequences."  
  
He got up into Lon'qu's face as best he could, and snarled, pointing at him. "You don't tell me how to take care of my daughter! I raise her _just_  fine on my own."  
  
"She would say otherwi-"  
  
"No," He shouted. "If anyone lays a hand on Ke'ri, it's your fault. Any danger she's in is your fault! You should've been protecting her, like a real man, not a sneak-thieving coward and a worthless wanderer!" His ugly face bent in all directions as he became red in the face. "Gods forbid it: if she has so much as a _scratch_  on her, let alone a bruise, so help me. If you can't bring her home, then don't come back at all!" He screamed.  
  
"I don't have time for this. I'm going to save her from your error." Lon'qu turned on his heel, ducked his head, and left swiftly.  
  
_Gods, what were they thinking?_ Lon'qu thought. _The roads are dangerous during the day for a lone woman to be walking unarmed for miles. And at night..._  He shuddered. The outskirts of Chon'sin were known for both highwaymen and bandit clans. She could be stolen from, she could be attacked, she could be captured and killed-- He was furious with Ke'ri's father, more than ever. He was always a strange man, with a weird temper, and a stubborn disposition that was now proving to cause his daughter danger. He always detested Lon'qu in general, but he now seemed like he was out to get him even more than usual. Was this whole thing just some petty attempt to keep Lon'qu away from Ke'ri, sending her so far when he knew he wasn't around to accompany her? Lon'qu swore the man was crazier than his own father, who was also a drunk loon.  
  
The path of dirt led him miles out, and he began to worry, not seeing her at all. He got to where the river met the path, which was where Ke'ri always went to wash the linens, and he saw a pile of linens and her basket resting on the bank. _Thank the gods..._ He thought at first. But as he rushed closer, he realized that Ke'ri herself was not around anywhere. He glanced up and down the bank again, but saw nothing. A seed of worry pitted itself into his stomach once again. He approached the basket that unmistakably belonged to her. On it, was a rock with a piece of parchment under it. Lon'qu picked up the parchment, unfolded it, and with utter horror, he read it as best he possibly could, taking him minutes to sound out the words:  
  
_Ransom for ginger girl, 3200 gold_  
 _Bring to encampment a mile up the road by two day's sunset_  
  
He crushed the parchment in his hands and became sickly pale, head spinning. The bandits around Chon'sin were known for picking off victims and kidnapping them, hoping for ransom gold. They moved camps so often that it was hard to keep track of them as to clear them. He put his hands to his forehead and shook his head, trying to suppress the horrid reality, praying this was all some hellish nightmare. There would be no way for him to get that amount of money... no way for anyone to. Ke'ri's family owned most likely less than 50 gold at a time, and Lon'qu had but 3 gold coins in his pocket now, there was simply _no_ way. And these bandits were known for their cruelty, which made Lon'qu's stomach drop. They were murders... rapists. He had to get there as soon as he could. If he had no money, then the only option was to destroy the small bandit camp and take her home, right? He knew there was simply no other option. He began to walk swiftly up the road. He knew he could fight them for her. He would do anything for her, and he would cut every last one down if it's the last thing he did. He was determined to take her home by force.  
  
At last, with a deep breath, he reached the encampment he was looking for, only a mile up the road. He knew the chances of survival were slim. Most likely, he wouldn't be able to take them on, and die trying. Dying was the least of his concerns though. He was far more afraid of the result of his death: Ke'ri being victim to these awful men once again, but now with no hope for escape. Perhaps, if Lon'qu were to fall, and Ke'ri could convince them that there was no one else to bring forth the money, then they would let her go... That was merely the best case scenario.  
  
But he didn't linger on that, because he promised himself that he would be successful, that he would save the girl that held his universe together, and continue to keep her safe, always. And after he saved her, maybe then they could just run away and leave her family behind, like she had suggested long ago. Sure, they could feed her, but they couldn't keep her safe. Lon'qu would be able to protect her and feed her somehow, he'd find a way for her. Maybe he should have listened to her that one time and just taken off with her in the night... then she'd never have had this happen to her...  
  
The path led up to a hill, growing with rustling pine trees, and the gravel crunched beneath his feet. Crickets chirped around him. Unsheathing his sword, he was prepared for the worst. He saw four horses tied up on the path. It didn't necessarily mean that there were four men, but at least he knew that it couldn't be _that_  many people.  
  
He approached the clearing slowly. The pine trees parted to reveal a small setup of outlaws, but he didn't see Ke'ri. It was frigid now as the sun had set. The bitter and dry air was characteristic of the pale winters of Chon'sin. Around a smoky fire pit, heat emanating from blazing coals, were three bandits, who turned to look at him.  
  
"Let me guess," One said, scowling up at Lon'qu. "Looking for your girl?" He wore hide armor and his head was bare of hair.  
  
Lon'qu attempted to look calm, and as though he were a threat to them. He had never challenged someone once in his life, but he felt somewhat confident he had a chance. "Yes." He said gruffly.  
  
"Just cough up the money, then." One with an axe on his lap and a scar on his forehead told him, but Lon'qu shook his head.  
  
"I don't know if she's even here or not. And even then, how do I know you'll let her go?" Lon'qu questioned skeptically.  
  
"Fine, talk to the boss then." He jutted his thumb behind him disinterestedly. Lon'qu stepped closer to the camp and looked at the large canvas tent that was pitched. "But she's here alright... I'm surprised you couldn't hear her from Chon'sin."  
  
But Lon'qu stopped. "...What did you say...?" His dark eyes locked on the bandit that spoke last, a coldness falling over his body.  
  
"I said I'm surprised you didn't hear her screaming." He said with a devilish smile and Lon'qu's eyes widened in horror. "I hope you weren't saving her for yourself one day, because-"  
  
"You...raped her." His eyes glassed over and his heart attempted to stop beating entirely. His mind collapsed, hit with the horror of what he was saying.  
  
"I didn't touch her, but the boss wouldn't stop." He chuckled.  
  
Lon'qu's eyes flashed with heat, and his chest boiled. He grit his teeth and his fist clawed the hilt of his sword. His pulse skyrocketed and his chest heaved with fury. "Stand up while I kill you." He decided.  
  
The bandit stood, and turned, but he only let out another hearty laugh, while the other two watched him, laughing along. "Calm down there, kid. I don't think you realize what you're asking. I can tell you wouldn't hurt a fly. Just give us money and she's yours."  
  
Another one of the bandits joined in. "You're wasting our time- go see the boss."  
  
The one bandit sat back down, and faced away towards the fire again, while Lon'qu stood seething. The bandit began to speak again to his men, but Lon'qu silently took a step towards him, gripped his shoulder with the strength to rip it clean off, and with blood boiling, he hurled his sword into the bandit's lower back, piercing straight through the side of the abdomen. Lon'qu's blade meet the air on the other side of him, blood gushing out from his kidney.  
  
The two bandits were aghast, and watched the scene before them play out in sheer disbelief. Their eyes bugged out as they watched Lon'qu slide the sword out of his body which it had been sheathed inside of. The stabbed bandit's jaw hung open as a shocked grunt escaped his throat. He collapsed forward, almost landing in the fire, dead.

Lon'qu couldn't believe what he had done out of pure rage. He just ended someone's life. Yes, this was someone who helped hurt Ke'ri, yes, he was planning on killing them all anyway, if possible, but he knew that he was now a murderer... But he didn't dwell on it.  
  
The other two bandits rose quickly and drew their steel, one with an axe and the other with a sword, and closed in on Lon'qu. Both swung at him wildly and Lon'qu avoided their weapons by inches, the steel whizzing past his ears. He defended himself carefully, sure not to let one of them land a hit, for then, only Ke'ri would be suffering. While spinning to avoid the swordman, he saw an opening to strike the axeman in an upwards slice, cutting over his chest. He staggered, so now Lon'qu was given a chance to cleave the swordsman in the side, after avoiding a sweep of his own narrowly. Lon'qu's sword met the other sword with a clamor, and slid over it with a screech, instead of hitting skin as he had planned. The axe man had recovered, but clearly was not able to fight like he had been. The axe would've split Lon'qu's stomach open if he didn't dodge the metal head nimbly. Meanwhile, the tip of the opposing sword nicked Lon'qu's forearm with a fierce stinging which he ignored. He countered him by pivoting deftly in a way his enemy couldn't foresee, and sliced over his neck. This man fell quickly, and Lon'qu was left to deal with the axeman, who looked fatigued. He tried to cleave Lon'qu, but was easily dodged, and Lon'qu deftly slid his blade into his stomach.  
  
He looked down at the mess before him: three bodies, staining the earth with their blood. He studied his hands, covered in blood like his sword. He picked up the sword from the dead bandit's hands, easily sliding it out of his lifeless grip. With a swing of it, he decided to keep it. Horrified subconsciously with having killed three people for the first time, he felt numb. Yet his anger and adrenaline didn't subside, especially not when he looked over and saw the leader of the four bandits leaned up against the wooden support beam of the front of the long canvas tent, watching Lon'qu breathe heavily as though he were his prey.  
  
The flaps were both wide open now, letting the moonlight illuminate the inside of the tent. There was Ke'ri, bound against the middle support, hands tied behind her back. She was gagged with a bandana, and her clothes were torn off around her chest, in tatters. One broken strap was down to her bare ribcage. Her orangey hair hung down over her violated skin, her chest bare. The bottoms of her dress were visably ripped up the sides. Her head raised and her crystal eyes slowly flicked up to watch Lon'qu approach, spattered in blood from his face to his hands, to his torso. A wound on his forearm welled with a small amount of his own blood. Muffled entirely, she made a weak, strained noise that resembled the sound of his name. But he looked pale as he gazed at her, disgusted with what he saw. He felt the desire to vomit. His eyes snapped to the leader of the four bandits, now a lone man.  
  
"You..." He barred his teeth.  
  
The bandit chuckled. He had long hair that was pushed back and braided in certain strands, with no rhyme or reason to it. He was grungy, and he stunk of tobacco. "Quite the performance... But it was so unnecessary. I just want your money, and I'll be on my way." He stepped back into the tent to walk around Ke'ri, looking down at her as though she were something to eat.  
  
"No. No, you won't be leaving. You won't see tomorrow." Lon'qu threatened. His eyes locked on the bandit, seeing red. His hand ached to kill him brutally, to hear the pain in his screams, and watch the blood leave his body. "You will die by my blade, I swear it." Lon'qu drew his sword and brought it slowly to the bandit's throat, threatening him.  
  
But he merely gave a twisted smile. Without taking his eyes away from Lon'qu, he lifted his own sword, formerly hanging casually at his side, to the neck of Ke'ri, and rested it against her skin. Lon'qu watched her in horror, as she inhaled breath through her nose, terrified. He became more furious even faster. His eyes darted between Ke'ri's pleading eyes, and the bandit's wicked grin.  
  
"Please. Don't hurt her... kill me instead." He begged, his sword hand still unwavering at his throat.  
  
"I want neither of your lives." He told him casually. "I just want my money."  
  
He grit his teething, desiring to gouge out his eyes and massacre him. "I can't offer you anything with your sword at her throat, with her in pain, gagged and bound. What you... did to her... has no price. You will die for it. So raise your weapon at _me_ instead." Lon'qu's voice rose.    
  
"Oh, wait, now I understand..." The bandit sneered. "You don't have any money for me."  
  
Lon'qu raised his jaw. "No, I have it. But I cannot give it to you while you hold a blade to her-"  
  
He began to laugh uncontrollably now. "Isn't this just something!? I should've realized you wouldn't have my money... I mean, look at you two!" He shook his head. Lon'qu held firm, but knew with desperation that there was nothing he could do to get him to back away from her. The truth had been exposed. "Now I'll make _you_ a deal. If you put your sword down onto the ground this instant, I won't slice her beautiful neck open right now..."  
  
Lon'qu's arm fell to his side instantly and he let the blade helplessly slide from his hand and onto the earth. He could feel Ke'ri watching his every move painstakingly, but his eyes remained on the enemy. "Just give me time- I- I'll come up with that money somehow. I'll do anything for you to let her go; anything..."  
  
"No, I'm afraid that's just... not good enough." He shrugged discontentedly. Lon'qu swallowed hard. "I see through your lies. I know you'll do anything to keep her alive, but, the irony is that the _one_ thing that actually _will_ spare her, is something you'll never have: money. You will most likely best me in swordsmanship, from what I just saw. So, therefore, I won't take my sword away from her. If I allowed you to come back later, you would find a way to kill me. So unless you pull out her ransom right now, she's as good as dead." He chuckled, watching Lon'qu grit his teeth, his dark eyes waiting desperately. The bandit paused as to wait for Lon'qu to give him the money, and of course, as he expected, Lon'qu didn't budge. "And... because you don't have the money, and you put me down three men..." In a flash, he had twisted his arm and jerked his sword once, cutting the steel blade clean over Ke'ri's stomach.  
  
Her sparkling eyes went wide as her body jerked in surprise. Lon'qu's eyes nearly bugged out of his head as he watched him strike her, and listened to the muffled scream that followed her shocked silence. Blood surfaced onto the white fabric of her dress as she threw her gagged head back and howled. Lon'qu watched his world crumble apart in one fell swoop. His hands shook and his voice trembled as he uttered a sharp, tormented cry.

The bandit lowered his blade, while hot angry tears brimmed in Lon'qu's eyes as he stepped forward, weaponless. He expected him to fall to the ground, but Lon'qu twisted his body back, threw his boot in the air, and bludgeoned his foot against the bandit's chest with a swift turn of his body and a cracking of the man's ribs. He flinched from his ribs surely breaking, and Lon'qu cranked back his fist to sock him in the jaw. Through her inconceivable pain, Ke'ri's wild eyes were locked on Lon'qu, as he seized the staggered bandit's head with his grasping hands, clawing his ears as the bandit dropped to his knees, dazed from a kick which broke his ribs and a sucker punch. Six times, Lon'qu broke the villain's ugly, scarred face against his shin with the strength of a gorilla, the man's nose cracking and rupturing all over Lon'qu's trousers, his eyes being split against his kneecap, and his skull breaking, turning his face into a mushy, bloody pulp. He shoved his body to the ground, grasped the sword he had once dropped, and as if planting a wooden steak into loose soil, he plunged the sword into where his ribcage split, spraying blood up like a fountain. He dropped to his knees forcefully, leaving his opponent to bleed, looking like a mangled zombie, half his face erased by Lon'qu's knee. Hands shaking, he grabbed the cleaner sword that his opponent once held, the very sword he maimed Ke'ri with, and cut her binds quickly and aggressively, his vision blurred with monstrous amounts of adrenaline, and stinging tears. He yanked the dress up to cover her again, while she gasped for air like a beached fish when the gag released her face, leaving red lines over her cheeks. Perhaps she was left like that for hours. Her hands weakly came around to grasp her stomach, leaking with blood. She gazed down at her bloodied body and then up to Lon'qu, her chest heaving short breaths, her body trying to uselessly run from death. His arms seized around her legs and back greedily, scooped her into his chest, and stared down at her with dread. His torso shuddered. Her hand weakly reached up to his face, streaked with tears which he had never felt on his cheeks before. They silently escaped his eyes, with every rapid blink. The only noise he made was the heavy breathing in his throat, sounding like panting. Ke'ri, however, was now completely silent.  
  
"Lon'qu..." Her hand tried to grasp his cheek, but could only rest against it. "It's numb now... It doesn't hurt..."  
  
He curled over her, his forehead touching hers, silent tears dripping onto her, mixed with the blood of his opponent, the blood of Ke'ri, and his own blood, probably. He now began to cry uncontrollably and loudly, chest heaving. "I'm- I'm s-sorry-" He gasped suddenly, now sobbing uncharacteristically.  
  
"N-no, you saved me from... him... I'm here with you... that's all I want." She murmured quietly, while internally shocked at his emotional state. She knew it was because of how much he loved her, but she only wished that she would be able to see him smile before she died. Still, his broken sobs were fitting: She, like him, didn't want to leave him either. "Carry me outside... so I can see the stars with you..."  
  
He obeyed, not hesitating in the slightest. He pulled her limbs closer to his chest, and scooped her up and out of the tent, finding a peak of the little mountain under the moonlight. Sitting on the crest, he stained her with his tears as she gazed up at him and the stars; peacefully, lovingly, with a vague smile on her lips.  
  
"You came to get me... This is how I want to die... in your arms..." She said, looking up at the world with wonder in her shining eyes. "You, you made my day..."  
  
Lon'qu shook his head, his hands running over her face, through her hair, and along her jawline. "N-no... I couldn't s-save you... I killed you-!" He let out a strained sob.  
  
"You know that's not true... Look at me..." He did so. "I love you." He could see the stars reflected in her eyes.  
  
"I- I love you too- I swear, as soon as you close your eyes, Ke'ri, by this sword I'll be there with you. I'll follow you, ready for whatever the gods have for us after death-"  
  
"No!" She said as forcefully as she could muster. "You will _not_ take your life... you won't give up... promise me.... promise me now!" Her eyes now began to brim with matching tears to his.  
  
He let out another gasping sob, the thought of being alive while she isn't causing him immense pain. He regretted it... but he'd do anything for her. "I promise... Ke'ri..."  
  
She sniffled once and her voice was choked. Still, she sounded content. "There's more in this world than Chon'sin... You're gonna live long... you're gonna be the best swordsman in the world... you're gonna make me proud, Lon'qu..." She snuggled into the crook of his elbow and her eyes fluttered closed willingly, after gazing at his face once more. He watched the crystal blue disappear forever, never to be seen again. "You'll live without me... I know it... Some people just aren't the dying sort." Her last words were slow and laborious, truly using her last bit of energy. Lon'qu nodded, sniffing quietly, accepting her request.  
  
Lon'qu held her limp and lifeless body. "I promise..." He whispered, unsure if she was still alive to hear it. She very well could've been clinging onto her life, and simply on her last breaths in a peaceful, silent state. He held her, rocking her slowly. "I promise..." He continued to whisper it to her, watching her still beautiful face, though pale and lifeless. Under the moonlight, her ginger hair shone. After long minutes, he was certain she had passed, but he held her for awhile longer anyway. He looked down to see that her hand still rested atop his palm, his fingers wrapped around her hand, while gravity gently closed her lifeless hand around his.  
  
He wrapped her in any blanket or canvas he could find around this camp. He rummaged for gold or food as well, along with the sword of the bandit he had slain. The camp fire still burned brightly, and to keep her from being scavenged, he lay her in the fire, threw nearby straw from the tent over her, and turned and left, walking down south where this trail led. A few yards away, he vomited profusely on the side of the road out of shock and horror. He pulled himself together, and continued along the path, never looking back at Chon'sin. He completed her parents' request by never going back, and more importantly, he kept his promise to the dying Ke'ri, that he would first, not kill himself, and secondarily, he would master the blade and live a full life; no matter how much he knew just living would pain him for now on.

END


End file.
